Well, it’s been a while… almost 2 years, wow!
So much has changed:
- I’ve moved up, career wise, getting a new job just as I stopped posting, then another a year later, then another less than a year later… and I’m happy to say that I now have the best job that I’ve ever had in my life; highest salary, vacation time, great coworkers, benefits, etc.
- I fell in love with my best friend, and after living together for a year, we’re getting married this month… the way WE want to do it, small and casual at the courthouse. A wedding would’ve killed us both, haha!
- It’s possible that I may be moving out of state as well, I’ve never lived in any other town in my entire 31 years, and I’m soooo excited to get the hell out of here!
I was looking around this morning, finding out how many different places I’ll need to change my name after the wedding, and I found this poor ol’ abandoned blog that I used to work so hard on. It was sad, but also not. I didn’t abandon it for lack of inspiration, or depression, or loss of interest. It was forgotten because my life became so full and I was busy falling in love, creating a new life and a new me. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure I believed in REAL love anymore before I met him. I’d given up, 29 years and nothing to show for it, love couldn’t be real. But then he came along. I knew, immediately, we had a connection, but I thought it’d only be a friendly one. My friendship with him was more emotionally intimate than any relationship I’d had in the past and I was grateful for it… but being WITH him? No, that didn’t occur to me. Until it did. Then, everything changed. I look at the world differently now. I look at him differently, obviously, but I also look at myself differently. I digest happenings with a different perspective. I experience music differently… it’s amazing that so much can be affected by knowing one person. If the me from 2 years ago read this, she’d laugh and say how silly I sounded. I’m glad I’m not her anymore.
I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is, not even sure if anyone will read it since I’m no longer a part of any kind of internet community anymore either, but I felt compelled to share the thoughts of the new me here, so the record doesn’t just show the old me.
If you are reading this and are feeling lost or feel like you’ve given up on trying to be happy, remember that I had given up too… and still came out on the other side a happy person, happier than I ever even thought possible.