Ennui

I’m sitting in the sand, allured by the water.
The sky begins to collapse, a complete beauty slaughter.
I open my eyes and behold! It’s my room; the mess, the hate, the direful gloom.
No sunshine, no manumission, no beautiful shore;
it’s not a new day, I’ve had this day before. 

I peer at the ceiling, at the detail and the dirt
and wonder what the day will bring. Will I be happy? Or will I be hurt?
I instinctively assume it will be a painful waste;
leaving me broken and lost, hoping to be erased.
I’ve had these thoughts of the torment I abhor;
It’s not a new day, I’ve had this day before.

I’m drowning in imposters masquerading as friends;
grieving their lack of attempts to cleanse and make amends.
My hopes are suffocating in the regrets of a hardened heart;
the paranoia and distrustfulness making a failure out of any fresh start.
I long to go back, I wish there was time I could borrow.
It’s been a day, but not a new day… maybe tomorrow.


In image form:

Ennui

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23 thoughts on “Ennui

  1. Also, Thank you so much for visiting and following my blog. It’s lovely to have you as an important part of my blogging community. I hope you enjoy your time at Insight From A Woman’s Heart. Welcome! Dee

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am totally digging Ennui. Beyond the cleverness, it shares more, I believe, of the noisy songbird. I appreciate the labor of the lines in the final stanza, slowing me down, keeping me in your world a word of two longer. Not that I know much of poetry or set out to bleed any; I do, however, scour the wordpress plains looking for fresh poems, with soul. Thanks for bringing it, soul that is. I tip my hat. Cheers ~

    Liked by 1 person

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